I cried this morning after sleeping with a heavy heart. The realization that this will be a long haul precisely because Duterte, as evil as he is, is just a manifestation of deep structural problems in Philippine society. Not to mention, there will always be foreign imperial powers like the US and China who will strip away basic human dignity in lands and seas that they see as theirs…
That there will always be injustices wherever you are, even if you are situated on a remote island in the middle of the Pacific…
That there will always be people who will be quiet because they are comfortable or maybe it is not their personality, and you can’t do anything about it. Or, worse, people who will tag those who speak as terrorists.
The burden is heavy as the whole damn ocean, and nobody told you to hold it in your mouth, but you still did. There is always an option to leave the shore, but the taste of the saltwater never leaves you.
You will be in a constant rage, trying to protect whatever headspace you have because you also need to work, function, and do your day-to-day tasks. Work now becomes volatile. Its essence, its relevance, eludes you. What for? We ask.
You power through amidst pain and fear, but you also question yourself if you are built for this. Or maybe it’s a muscle you need to train. You will try to navigate within the concept of hope because they say it’s radical. But is it radical enough?